I feel very very very terrible....

He actually told me that he wanted to break up... but I managed to persuade him to give this relationship another chance... he finally agreed but told me that his reason for wanting to break up is because he said he loves me too much but does not feel the return. He feels that I am not loving him enough or not putting in enough effort into this relationship and not showing him enough concern.

I feel very wronged. Very heartbroken and sad... I just cant stop crying... although I've managed to retain this relationship but I don't feel good at all... I still love him alot, may be that's what makes me feel so shattered... so upset over...

I admit that I might not show him as much love as before, but that was because he changed too much. He is not like the him last time. He did not show concern to me too. Gave more attention to his friends n colleagues. It's like.. whenever I want to spend more time with him, he will always have plans with his friends later. He no longer sends me home. He no longer tells me that he loves me. He no longer would show concern about my health and brushes me off. Always say that I am falling sick so it's normal le. He makes decisions without considering about my feelings. Although ultimately, he gives in, but that was because I blew it up. If I did not do so, I'm sure he would have went ahead to proceed with what he wanted to do. He told me that he wants to save for our future, but he does not have any savings. He is not doing anything to assure us of a future. Then he blames it on me not wanting to get marry early cos I want to do things which I have planned on my own. But how can I get married now? No savings, no nothing.... I really do not feel secure marrying him. I do not want to end up like my mum. That is the last thing I want to happen in my life. He said that I do not ask about how he feels, but when I do, he does not tell me. If he dont want to tell me, I respect your decision, keep quiet and gives him moral support. Do you ask about how I feel? No. He also din ask. But I share with him. I take the initiative. I am sick and tired. Yes, sometimes I feel like giving this relationship up, but deep in my heart, I know I love him too much to really do it. And he just told me that he loves me too much that's why he want to break. I feel really very terrible... like what have I done to deserve all these?

This time round, I am really hurt. My tears just cant stop rolling down my face.... i'm in deep pain.. very very pain... until i duno if i can forgive him for this...