He called me yesterday to say that he feels that we are lacking in communication. I agree with him on this point, but it can't be helped. Our work hours and rest days are totally different, our interests are different too, our views and opinions differ as well. He is more of a night person whereas I am more of a day girl. We are 2 complete opposite creatures who happened to cross path and decided to join into a single line.
Come end August will be our 4th anniversary, I have planned a weekend of celebration for the both of us. He has also taken leave. I simply just don't know why he have to react like this now.
He commented that he foresees this as a never ending problem, or at least till we get married. Then we will be able to meet each other even if he ends work late. What can we do to solve this? I suggested that he change his job. Because for a retail operating hours, his company is sucking his blood. Taking up almost 7/8 of his week, and making them work from 10am to 1130pm whenever they are assigned full shift. I should be the one complaining that he does not have time for me, does not give me the attention he ought to give instead of giving it to his friends or colleagues. He does not drink last time but now, goes to pubs with his friends and can drink to almost a drunken state at times. I dislike all this. But I know that as we age, our thinking differ. We may want to try new things. We mix with different people. We are exposed to many worlds which we have not even seen before. I am alright with that. But if you are going to be like this, don't come and complain that I am the one who is not trying hard enough to make the relationship work.
Now, he does not even want to talk. I went for dinner with him and his family. Sat beside him but he kept quiet all the while even till we went home. I tried to communicate, but he simply just passed a remark to say that he does not even know what is wrong with him. I see no point in staying at his place so I stormed out of the house and went home.
I respected him. Gave him his freedom. He commented that I am not caring enough about him and not loving him as much as last time. He says that I do not ask him about his work or show concern, SMS while at work etc. He tells me about his work so I naturally do not ask him anymore. I do try to find out more but he will just brush me off and say that I will not understand. When talking about SMS, I admit that while at work and especially when I am busy, I will tend not to use my hp for personal use. But occasionally when I do call or SMS, his reply will be busy working, call you later. Isn't that back to square 1? I don't see the difference.
Everything he said from last night till now makes me feel like he wants to initiate a breakup. He says that he is scared he is wasting my time if it does not work out for us. At that point of time, love is not the reason for our breakup but because of the difference in interest. If that day comes, I will gracefully take it. Though I think I might feel strong and able to withstand all these now, I don't think I will be able to recover fast when it really hits me. He ever said before that unless I suggest, he will not initiate. But what is this? I am really heartbroken... I try to organize outings to the zoo, museum, play pool cos i know he like animals and nature, but he rejects all. So what more does he want?
I find all these problems, which he calls, unnecessary. I see no point in arguing, or worrying about all these. I have already given my 2 cents worth of advice and solution. If he does not want to even try, what can I do? I am lost. Confused. Puzzled.
A few weeks back, he even wanted to let his female friend stay over at his place for a whole 1-2 weeks. Common! I will not take this lying down! I am not that generous! That girl was initially at Australia, just started uni. But just into the first week, she decided that she want to switch schools to be the same as her bf. So she needs to fly bk to S'pore to settle the procedures. However, she does not want her parents to find out so she asked if she can bulk at his place. He immediately agreed. Please... think of me can? I told him I didn't like and he said that he respected me that's why he told me, otherwise he can just go ahead to let his friend stay without telling me. I don't think that was very pleasing to hear. I am your girlfriend. It is not just a matter of respect, or whether he wants to stand up for his friend. He claims that he is not the kind to leave his friends in the lutch, but how can he allow this? And what kind of girl would ask if she can stay at a guy's house? Hello!? This is Singapore.. not Australia. You grew up here! Dont you have other female friends? If you don't, then you should go and review your character. It's time to make changes! I told him straight in the face that if he insists on letting her stay, I will break up with him and I meant it. This is serious case for me. I cannot accept it. Although I believe he wont betray me, but who knows what the girl might do. And it's a very sick thought to know that another girl is sleeping under the same roof, in my bf's room. He continued to argue and insisted at first which totally disappointed me. But I won the battle in the end, which I feel that I should. Thank goodness he gave in... but now... he suddenly became like this... actually many problems are self created by us. if we choose to look at things from a broader perspective, then we will not feel so stressful and will live more happily...
I dont know what to do anymore. I only know for sure that I do not want a break up now... when is he ever going to wake up?
